Helping young women prepare for secondary school: confidence starts before september

The countdown to secondary school often begins with shopping lists. New uniform. New shoes. A fresh pencil case. A school bag ready for its first day. These practical preparations matter, but there's another kind of preparation that's just as important. While we're helping young women get everything ready on the outside, many are quietly preparing on the inside too.

Starting Year 7 is one of the first major transitions in a young person's life. Alongside excitement often comes uncertainty. Questions about friendships, fitting in, navigating a bigger school and coping with new routines can feel overwhelming.

As parents, carers and trusted adults, we don't need to remove every worry. What we can do is help young women feel heard, understood and supported as they take this next step.

‍The worries you might not hear
Not every young woman will tell you she's feeling anxious. Instead, you might notice subtle changes. They may ask endless questions, become quieter than usual, seem reluctant to talk about September, or appear unusually emotional over small things.

‍Some of the most common worries include:

• What if everyone already has friends?

• What if I get lost?

• What if the work is much harder?

• What if people don't like me?

• What if I'm not ready?

These thoughts are completely normal. ‍

Often, young women keep these worries to themselves because they don't want to worry the adults around them or don't have the words to explain how they're feeling.

Listening can be more powerful than solving
It's natural to want to reassure a young woman that everything will be fine. Sometimes that helps. Often, though, the most valuable thing we can offer is simply the chance to talk.

Try asking open questions such as:

• What are you most looking forward to?

• Is there anything you're feeling unsure about?

• What do you think would help if you're having a difficult day?

• Who could you talk to if something worries you?

• What are you proud of about yourself right now?

‍The goal isn't to find perfect answers. It's to let them know their feelings matter and that they can always come back to you. Feeling genuinely listened to is often far more reassuring than having every problem solved.

‍Friendships take time
One of the biggest worries when leaving Year 6, especially if friends are moving to different schools, is, "What if I don't make friends?"

‍It's tempting to respond with, "You'll make loads of friends." While comforting, it can also feel like a promise nobody can guarantee. A more helpful message is that friendships take time. ‍

Real friendships rarely happen during the first morning registration. They grow through shared experiences, conversations, helping each other, sitting together at lunch, and working alongside one another in lessons.

‍If they don't come home with stories about new friends during the first week, it doesn't mean they're doing anything wrong. Finding where they belong takes time, and that's perfectly okay.

Remind the young women in your life that they don't need everyone to like them. They need to find the people who appreciate them for who they truly are.

‍Build confidence before September
Confidence doesn't suddenly appear on the first day of school. It grows gradually through everyday experiences.

The summer holidays offer plenty of opportunities to encourage independence in small, manageable ways. You could encourage young women to:

• Pack their own bag before a family day out.

• Order their own drink in a cafe.

• Help plan a journey.

• Solve small problems before stepping in to help.

These moments aren't about getting everything right. They're about learning through experience and realising, "I can do this."‍ ‍

Every small success builds self-belief, making those first few weeks at secondary school feel a little less daunting.

Celebrate who they already are
As the start of term gets closer, comparison can easily creep in. Who already knows someone? Who seems more confident? Who appears less nervous?

Comparison has a habit of making young women question themselves before the school year has even begun. One of the most valuable messages we can give young women is that they don't need to become someone different to succeed.

The qualities that matter most can't be bought in a school uniform shop. They already carry them:

• Kindness

• Curiosity

• Resilience

• Compassion

• Creativity

• Humour

• Determination

Helping young women recognise these strengths before they walk through the school gates can have a lasting impact.

Five simple ways to support young women this summer

As September approaches, small actions can make a big difference:

1.      Welcome every feeling without judgement.

2.      Build confidence through small everyday wins.

3.      Keep conversations open with gentle, curious questions.

4.      Celebrate effort, courage and unique strengths.

5.      Be the safe place they know they can always return to.

Helpful resources
Here are some excellent resources to support you and help you be prepared to do all you can to help with the transition from Year 6 to Year 7.

The Literacy Trust: https://tinyurl.com/JunoLiteracyTrust

BBC Bitesize – starting secondary school: https://tinyurl.com/JunoBBCbitesize

Place2Be – helping your child prepare for secondary school: https://tinyurl.com/JunoPlace2Be

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